Not Because Of The Toy Ring
by Zang
Summary: Sirius gave Snape a sharp look. "How could I have dates when I was in Azkaban? I'd rather dance with the Giant Squid than date Dementors." / "Only a man could feel a delicate object beneath the softest and warmest bed deserves to be my date."


**Title : Not Because Of The Toy Ring**

**Rating : K+**

**Characters : Snape, Sirius, Harry, Teddy**

**Genre: Humor/ Friendship**

**Summary : Sirius gave Snape a sharp look. "How could I have dates when I was in Azkaban? I'd rather dance with the Giant Squid than date Dementors." / "Only a man could feel a delicate object beneath the softest and warmest bed deserves to be my date."**

**Disclaimer : Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling.**

**.-.-.**

Severus was deeply startled when the floo network in his quarter flared. Usually the firm sound of the floo didn't make him jump to the point of nearly fell from his chair. Quickly that Head House of Slytherin hid the thing he had been enchanted with behind his back and then buried it beneath the pillow chair.

"Black!" he said breathlessly.

Sirius's face looked bright in the flame. "What? Did my handsome face surprise you?"

Snape snorted. "You wish," he grumbled in annoyance. Thankfully he didn't yelp. Well, he almost did.

"You looked shocked," Sirius nonchalantly commented.

"I don't," Snape lied. "I was in the middle of something before you disturbed me."

Sirius grinned. "You should be honored. It's not every day I show up at other's floos."

Snape made a face."They should be grateful. No disturbance. Don't have to see your ugly face," he retorted.

"How about staying overnight at my house tomorrow?"

Snape looked at the floo incredulously."Why should I?"

"No, not only you. Bring the kids. Oh, did you wish I only invited you?"

Snape restrained himself not to roll his eyes. "Never in a million years I'd wish that," he coldly replied. He couldn't help but notice that Sirius was more laid back than he had been. The man seemed to enjoy everything. Maybe Azkaban had done him good. "You know I hate you, don't you?"

"The feeling's mutual, Slytherus," Sirius lightly said.

"I'll close the floo. I don't appreciate you wasting my time." Snape got up.

"Don't you dare!" Sirius fiercely warned.

"I refuse your invitation."

"Just think. If Teddy and Harry are at my house, it'll be easier to handle them."

"More likely I'll babysit three children," Snape glared.

"You're the immature one."

"We'll see."

"Look, Snape," Sirius snapped. "Remus will transform at that night. I want to help him, in any way I can, even if it's only taking care of Teddy for a night or two. And about Harry…"

"Okay," Snape cut in. He didn't want to hear the rest of Sirius's words. "I'll bring them. After dinner."

"Let's have dinner at my place?"

"That's too much to ask."

"I want to feel like a family would."

Sirius gritted his teeth, realizing his mistake by inadvertently confessing one of his deepest secrets. Snape clearly enjoyed his former enemy's uneasiness. He slowly smirked in satisfaction. "Fine. Prepare the best you can. I won't accept anything less than perfect."

"Bye," Sirius growled.

Snape sighed. Sometimes he felt immature when dealing with Sirius. Lupin was different. The werewolf was calm and wiser. Snape guessed that's why those two's friendship lasted long. Sirius and Lupin completed each other.

He regained his composure when his hands touched the Muggle thing he had been hiding. Discreetly Snape eyed the room before his attention went back to the cell phone he had just bought.

The Potions Master had been very curious about it. He heard that it's a popular device for communication for Muggle. So, he had secretly purchased one in a Muggle store in London. For almost half an hour he had poked and tested the phone, trying to see if it could work with magic. Snape was fascinated, though. He was half wizard and half Muggle, that's true, but he had spent more than half his life in Wizarding World. The device was a great invention, he thought.

"Surprisingly Muggle have decent brains," he muttered to himself, ignoring the fact about his bloodline. The mobile phone was light weighted. It fit perfectly on his palm. The features Snape liked the most were the dictionary (useful feature, definitely), the camera and the word game. No wonder Muggle were attached to the device.

**.-.-.**

"Good, Teddy. Can you make your hair longer?" Sirius encouraged Lupin's boy.

Teddy complied. The little boy closed his eyes in concentration. Deep frown etched on his wide forehead. Harry shouted in delight watching his best friend's hair grew longer until it reached his shoulders.

"My eyes, Teddy, my eyes," Harry pleaded. "Oh, is that how my eyes look like?"

"Of course," Teddy firmly said.

"How could you know it? You don't look at the mirror to see how they should," Harry argued.

"Harry, believe me, okay?" Teddy glared at Harry.

Harry clearly doubted his friend.

It was funny to see two little kids arguing. In normal situation, Snape would have felt amused seeing a long haired Teddy with shining green eyes. But Snape's minds were occupied by his mobile phone. His hands were itchy too.

It's no wonder Muggle got addicted to mobile phones. They could be tools for entertainment too. Snape didn't tell anybody that he had bought one. Not even Harry. Mobile phone was so…Mugglish!

"How about morphing into Harry's father?" Sirius whispered mischievously. "I bet you can do it, Teddy."

Snape heard that. "That's why I didn't want to bring the kids," he growled menacingly. "You're a bad influence."

Teddy already morphed into a kid with long black hair, pale complexion and crooked nose. "You're my kid-father," Harry was amazed.

"There's no such thing, Son," Snape grumbled. "Now, brush your teeth. It's time to sleep. Go, go."

"You're no fun, Daddy," Harry pouted.

Teddy was giggling until Snape gave him a warning glare.

"Hey, Snape, we can have a drink after I read a story to them," Sirius told Snape's retreating back.

"I'm tired," Snape replied briefly.

Snape doubted that Sirius would tell the boys proper bedtime stories, but he surrendered at the kids' pleading and Sirius's insistence to act as their 'father' that night. So, after kissing Harry and Teddy good night, Snape retreated to the guest bedchamber and gleefully returned to his phone.

**.-.-.**

Sirius looked up when Snape entered the kitchen. The handsome man raised an eyebrow. "Coffee?"

"Yes, please." Snape sat on the chair across the other man. A house elf quickly served him a hot coffee in a big mug.

"What happened?" Sirius asked when he caught Snape rub his back with his left hand.

"Backache," Snape answered briskly.

"I provided the best mattress," Sirius said sourly. He gave an accusing glare. "In fact, every chamber here has the best mattress any best store can provide."

Snape winced just to taunt his host.

Last night Snape hadn't gone to bed immediately. He had taken out his cell phone and tried to test if he could make a call with magic, which had failed. However, his persistence was paid off when he could surf in World Wide Web. He had instantly been fascinated with some sites about gardening, plants and potions around the world. He had slept with the device in his hand, but in the morning it's not there. Snape had still been half asleep when he felt something painfully digging his back. That's where it had been the whole night after he had fallen asleep. Apparently a mobile phone was a dangerous hard device too.

"The fact remains that I woke up with a backache," he calmly replied, without telling the truth why. After all he wasn't the Head House of Slytherin for nothing. Snape was sure that he sported bruises.

The house elf gasped and frantically apologized. When she promised to punish herself after breakfast, Snape pulled a stop, saying that it wasn't a big deal and sternly forbade her to harm herself.

Snape had just sipped his second mug of coffee when the house elf appeared and showed them a toy ring, which was found under Snape's mattress. Apparently she had tried to find the cause of his master's guest inconvenience.

Sirius was surprised. "This is the toy my stupid brother hid when we were kids!" He stared at it in awe.

Snape still chose not to correct him about the cause of his backache.

"Do you know a Muggle story about a princess and a pea?" Sirius inquired.

"I do."

"You're just like her, only you're not a princess."

"Indeed I am not." Snape started to doubt Sirius's sanity. Well, he had a long hair, but even from every angle, far or close, Snape definitely didn't look like a girl.

"You're like a prince," Sirius continued. He wondered how a small ring under the softest mattress could cause somebody pain. He took a closer look at the ring, but he found no magic in it.

"I am a Prince," Snape agreed, referring to his mother's maiden name. Unfortunately not many people knew about this.

Sirius thought hard. He observed Snape's feature: all angle-y, sharp and pale, with potions' stained hands. "You're not ugly," he blurted out.

Snape froze.

"You're not nice either, except to Harry and Teddy. And Remus. Your words are like a melting cauldron," Sirius continued.

"Thanks for pointing it out. It's refreshing," Snape grumbled. Honestly, Sirius Black was becoming more irritating. He quietly sipped his coffee, annoyed by the smile plastered on the man before him.

"Well, beneath that bad attitude, harsh words and always discouraging comments, you're not a bad person." Sirius casually said.

"Your observation is astounding," Snape replied dryly. "You're not bad either, only unpleasant," he added sarcastically. Snape frowned when Sirius smiled at him. "If I didn't know it, I'd think you're flirting with me."

Unlike what Snape was thinking, Sirius didn't object it. "You'll be a decent date, if I thoroughly look past your plain and serious face and sour personality."

Now Snape was really vexed. "Is that how you try to win people's heart? Didn't you ever have dates? I'm not surprised if you fail."

Sirius gave him a sharp look. "How could I have dates when I was in Azkaban? I'd rather dance with the Giant Squid than date Dementors." Sirius shuddered. "So, Snape, do you agree to be my date tomorrow?"

"You're mental."

"I'm not joking."

"No."

"Only a man could feel a delicate object beneath the softest and warmest bed deserves to be my date."

Snape changed his minds. He definitely would owl his new cell phone to Arthur Weasley. That Muggle device spelled disaster, which had name as Sirius Black.

"Snape?"

Instead of answering Sirius's call, Snape hexed him.

**.-.-.**

**The End**

**.-.-.**

**A/N : It's still a part of Snape's Guilt, Harry And Teddy's Life Plans and A Letter To Daddy, but can be read separately.**


End file.
